The Tempestuous Lives of the Virtuous
by sol-li
Summary: Inuyasha's past life is one he keeps mysterious. But when Miroku unearths a bit of information about the half-demon from Myoga, he decides that he's going to help Inuyasha -- whether Inuyasha likes it or not.
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE  
  
*  
  
"Come on, Myoga, tell us another," Kagome said, leaning forward.  
  
"Shut up! Just shut up!"  
  
"Lord Inuyasha, please. Some dignity," a gravelly voice said from somewhere on Kagome.   
  
Inuyasha growled softly and cracked his claws. He was watching Kagome carefully, waiting for Myoga to emerge from her clothes. That rotten little flea had hidden somewhere on her uniform, so he couldn't be squashed without hurting her. When that bloodsucking snitch did, he was dead. I'm gonna seal him in a jar and drop him down the well, Inuyasha thought.   
  
"Be quiet, Inuyasha. I want to hear this." Miroku leaned forward from the rock where he was sitting, allowing his eyes to rest on Kagome's form. He didn't get the excuse to do this very often.  
  
"Easy for you to say," Inuyasha snapped. "You're not the one having embarrassing stories told about you."  
  
"They're not embarrassing, they're cute," Kagome said. "The one about you stuffing Jaken in an honey jar when you were two was adorable. Not to mention the one about you taking off your clothes and jumping into the pond of frog demons. I bet your brother didn't forget that in a hurry."  
  
"I was three years old!" Inuyasha shouted.   
  
"And darn cute too. Don't lie to me, I've seen what you looked like back then."  
  
"Feh." Inuyasha hunched over on his rock.  
  
He stayed quiet while Myoga told another story about Inuyasha, at the age of one, shredding a magical tapestry of Sesshoumaru's when he realized what his claws could do. When Myoga finished, he said ominously, "You are so DEAD, flea!"  
  
"Now, Master Inuyasha," Myoga said from somewhere in Kagome's sleeve. "That really isn't fair.  
  
"Coward," Kagome said, looking into her shirt. "Hey... Myoga, where did you go?"  
  
Inauyasha grabbed her shirt and peered down, then quickly let go and backed away. "You might want to learn how to stop blushing like that," Kagome said dryly.  
  
*  
  
"Quite effective, Master Monk," said Myoga, bouncing out of Miroku's robe. "Hiding in her clothing is a good short-term plan, but unfortunately Master Inuyasha always finds me eventually."  
  
"I see," Miroku said, rubbing his chin. "So, you've tried telling stories about him before?"  
  
"Yes, I have. Unfortunately, he never reacts well."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"I believe he thinks that it weakens him to have his past foibles brought to light."  
  
Miroku smiled. "I think it's more than that."  
  
"Oh?" The flea hopped onto Miroku's staff, watching him intently.   
  
The monk paused, contemplating. "You were relating these stories in front of Kagome. In many cases, young men don't like such stories related in front of women they are... attached to."  
  
"Ah, I see," Myoga said significantly. "Hmm."  
  
"Exactly." Miroku nodded.   
  
"And I suppose Master Inuyasha's lack of romantic experience might make it an even more stressful experience. Dear me, I didn't even think of that." Myoga looked pensive.   
  
"His 'lack' of romantic experience?"  
  
"Of course. Master Inuyasha has always avoided potential attachments to young ladies. I believe he fears the possibility of betrayal, or else that his half-demon nature will make him subject to rejection."  
  
"I had wondered about that," Miroku said thoughtfully. "However, he must have had some... experience."  
  
"Of course. I have it on good authority that Master Inuyasha was kissed by the undead priestess Kikyo earlier this year."  
  
"And you're saying that's ALL?" Miroku said, increasingly stunned.  
  
"Yes, I believe so. I keep careful tabs on all his comings and goings, and when I'm not here, there are others to watch him. Why?"  
  
Miroku picked the flea up and held him in front of his face. "Are you telling me he's a virgin?"  
  
Myoga blinked. "Yes, he is. Why?"  
  
TO BE CONTINUED 


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO  
  
*  
  
"Damn," Miroku said, almost to himself. "I knew he was reluctant, but I didn't know he was... well, that innocent."  
  
"Er, if you don't mind," Myoga said, wriggling in Miroku's grasp. "Might I be put down?"  
  
Miroku absently set the flea on his shoulder, thinking back over the months he had known Inuyasha. The young half-demon always acted like someone who had seen it all and punched it in the face. But there were a few things that always embarrassed him -- such as Shippo's too-probing questions about certain topics. In those situations, he usually blushed and refused to talk further.  
  
When Miroku had been told of Inuyasha's "thing" (as Kagome put it) for the priestess Kikyo, and the basics of their history, he had simply taken it for granted that their relationship had progressed to what Miroku considered normal levels. After all, he reflected, Inuyasha WAS a healthy young male. Even if his first lady-love had shot him against a tree for fifty years.  
  
There was a rustling in the trees overhead. Miroku saw a flash of red, white and green as Kagome and Inuyasha darted by, in the direction of the campsite. "Yo, Miroku!" Inuyasha called, pausing on a branch. "Seen Myoga anywhere?"  
  
"No," Miroku lied.   
  
Myoga jumped down into his sleeve and huddled inside.  
  
Inuyasha growled a little. "When I find that rotten little flea-"  
  
Kagome whispered something into Inuyasha's ear. The half-demon nodded and vanished into the treetops.  
  
The monk watched them, frowning. If he had a girl like Kagome around constantly the way Inuyasha did, he wouldn't even hesitate.   
  
"Well, there's only one thing to do," Miroku murmured.  
  
*  
  
Miroku settled himself on a nearby rock, with his staff across his knees. "Inuyasha?"  
  
"What?" Inuyasha sniffed the roasting rabbit suspiciously. "This thing smells funny. I wish I knew what Kagome put on it." He picked up the discarded box and stared at it. "This isn't a picture of a rabbit."  
  
Inuyasha sighed, turning the spit a few times. Kagome and Sango were buying vegetables in a nearby village -- what Kagome called "girl time." Shippo, after raiding a stash of Kagome's candy, had spent two hours bouncing hyperactively around the camp, giggling like an idiot, and was now passed out in Kagome's bicycle basket. Myoga was still hiding. Little coward, Inuyasha thought darkly.  
  
He rested his legs on a rock and watched the sky.  
  
"Inuyasha?" Miroku asked again. "How close were you to Kikyo?"  
  
Inuyasha could feel himself blush a little. "None of your business, monk."  
  
"And you've been travelling with Kagome for many months, yet you've never become... close to her?" His emphasis on the word "close" couldn't be missed.  
  
"Like I said before, none of your business, pervert." Inuyasha looked up. "Why are you askin'?"  
  
"Oh, no reason," Miroku said with feigned innocence.   
  
The half-demon was still staring at him with narrowed golden eyes, but he reluctantly accepted what Miroku said. After all, Miroku was a lot better than he was at keeping secrets. He wouldn't tell unless he wanted to.  
  
As the sound of girls' voices, Inuyasha sat up and took the rather overcooked rabbits off the spit. Kagome and Sango came into the clearing, holding baskets of vegetables and whispering to one another.   
  
"Did you two have a good time?" Miroku asked smoothly.  
  
"Good enough," Sango said, kneeling by the fire. "We managed to buy enough provisions for a week or two."  
  
"Assuming Shippo doesn't go on another candy high," Kagome said, looking at the ball of fur on her bike. "How can somebody so small eat so much?"  
  
"It all goes into his tail," Inuyasha said sarcastically. "Or his head, to fill up all that empty space."  
  
Kagome gave him a swat with the cooking spoon.  
  
Miroku accepted his portion of the rabbit from Inuyasha. He continued thinking while the others talked, Kirara and Shippo snored. If Inuyasha really hadn't been intimate with either Kikyo or Kagome, then Miroku had some immediate plans to make...  
  
TO BE CONTINUED 


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE  
  
*  
  
"I see," Miroku said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Hmm. Are you sure that this description is correct?"  
  
"Yes, it is." The old man bowed deeply. He wore a threadbare monk's robe and a cloak that had seen better days. He clearly couldn't afford to pay much for the services of Miroku and his friends. But, Miroku pondered, if he was correct, then it would be worth it.  
  
"They have ravaged our humble orchard and have driven away many of us from the temple. We are living in the woods." Tears had come to the old man's eyes. "If you and your friends cannot drive them away, we shall be forced out permanently."  
  
Miroku smiled and patted the old man's shoulder. "Do not fear. Travelling with me is a reknowned demon-slayer. She will be more than happy to assist."  
  
"We have little to offer as payment-"  
  
"We can settle that later. Often we will offer our services for the sake of a night's shelter and a single meal."  
  
The older monk thanked Miroku profusely before he left. Perfect, Miroku thought with a sly smile. Simply perfect.  
  
*  
  
"Demon bees?" Inuyasha asked, resting his chin on his fist.  
  
"An infestation in an old temple," Miroku said, taking a sip from one of the cans Kagome had brought from her era.  
  
Inuyasha felt a warm thrill at the idea of attacking the creature he hated most in the world. His claws began to sharpen without him even thinking about it. "Are they Naraku's? If he's anywhere nearby-"  
  
"Calm down, Inuyasha," Miroku said, holding up a hand. "Bees, not wasps. From the sound of it, they don't kill when they sting; moreover, they are merely a nuisance rather than a true threat. I don't think Naraku is involved at all."  
  
Kagome paused in her knitting to think it over. "Well, I suppose we could go deal with it," she said. Shippo, who was tangled up in her yarn, poked his head out.  
  
"Since when did I agree to start dealing with everybody's problems?" Inuyasha said peevishly.   
  
"Well, that's fine," Miroku said, smiling. He pointed at Sango, who was polishing her poison mask. "Sango and I can deal with it quite well?"  
  
"Excuse me?" Inuyasha said, astonished. He was always around when they were fighting demons; the idea of staying behind seemed outright bizarre.  
  
"Well, if you think about it, there's no reason for you to come," Miroku said. "The threat is minor enough that your strength isn't needed. Nor is Kagome's archery."  
  
Sango shrugged. "He is right. Especially since I might use some poison smoke to drive the bees out of the temple, and Miroku could simply suck them away once they were in the open air. Remember what happened last time I used that around you?"  
  
Inuyasha swallowed, looking uncomfortable. He remembered it vividly -- he had ended up sprawled on the ground, retching uncontrollably. "And why exactly are you doing this again, Miroku?" he asked, his eyes narrowed to slits.  
  
"A favor to an elderly monk who is in need of aid."  
  
Inuyasha jumped up. "Aha! I knew it! You're up to something, aren't you?"   
  
"Quiet, Inuyasha," Kagome said, picking up a dropped stitch. "You could probably use a day or two of vacation time. And I need to stay in one place for a little while or I'll never get this scarf finished. You should be GLAD that Miroku's offering this."  
  
Sango stood up and dusted herself off. "I'll go get my things." She went off to Kagome's bicycle, with Kirara trailing behind her.  
  
Miroku pulled the fox-demon out of Kagome's yarn. "Shippo, are you coming?" he asked.  
  
"Nope. Kagome told me she'd teach me how to knit," Shippo said.   
  
Miroku tried to hide his dismay. Shippo had been travelling with Kagome and Inuyasha nearly all the time they had known one another. It had to be cramping the potential for pleasure if a small child was tagging along all the time. But if they were left completely alone, Inuyasha just might get over his shyness with Kagome...  
  
"There's a village near the temple," he whispered into Shippo's ear. "How about some sweet dumplings?"  
  
"I'm coming!" Shippo said, dashing over to Sango and Kirara. As the two humans sat on the demon-cat, Shippo bounced onto her head.  
  
"Whatever you're planning, I'm going to find out what it is!" was the last thing Inuyasha yelled as they rode Kirara into the sky. Miroku just smiled.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED 


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR  
  
*  
  
"Stupid monk," Inuyasha growled, flopping down beside the campfire. "Am I the only one who doesn't get taken in by his act?"  
  
"No," Kagome said, with a few loops of yarn hanging out of her mouth. "Sango can tell you a lot more than you'll ever know by yourself."  
  
"If everybody didn't always take his side," Inuyasha continued, as if he hadn't heard her, "I'd stomp him good. But somehow I'm always the bad guy, and he's got half the people he meets in the palm of his hand. If they knew half of what goes on-"  
  
"That's because you always alienate people. Not everybody knows your bark is worse than your bite," Kagome said philosophically. "For a long time, I didn't know it myself. Of course, you didn't exactly make it easy for me to find out."  
  
"Feh."  
  
"Can you cut this for me?"  
  
Inuyasha sullenly swiped through the yarn before returning to his former complaints. "Always thinkin' about one thing -- well, three things if you count money and Naraku. And everybody takes one look at his face and decides he's the soul of piety. I'm more a monk than he is. I'm not perfect but at least I don't grab every woman I meet... or cheat... or steal..." After sulking for a moment, he looked at the tangle of red and yellow tawn in Kagome's lap. "Whatcha doin'?"  
  
"Knitting a scarf for Grandpa. I don't have time to shop for gifts anymore."  
  
"Doesn't look like a scarf."  
  
"Of course it doesn't! I've only gotten three rows done!" Kagome said, poking at him with a needle. "If I make you ramen, will you leave me alone and let me knit?"  
  
"Yes," Inuyasha said, almost too quickly.  
  
He hovered over the pot while the water boiled. When Kagome's timer went off, he pounced on the instant noodles and began slurping them down. Kagome sighed. I guess growing up on his own didn't give him the best table manners, she thought. On his infrequent visits to her house, he usually ate like a starved wolverine.   
  
"This is actually kind of nice," she said, unravelling the top row. "It reminds me a little of how things were to start with."  
  
"Hmrf?" Inuyasha said around a mouthful of noodles.  
  
"You know, when it was just the two of us all the time. And Myoga, of course."  
  
"Fifull crwwddddd..."  
  
"You're not still mad at him about the baby stories, are you?"  
  
"Feh." Inuyasha took another mouthful of ramen.   
  
Kagome took a deep breath and tried again. "But remember how it was when we were first hunting jewel shards?"  
  
"I remember you annoyed the hell out of me then."  
  
"And I remember that every other sentence you said was an insult and I had to use that necklace all the time." Kagome stared at her congealing noodles. "Hey, Inuyasha? Did I annoy you because I actually annoyed you, or did I annoy you because I looked and smelled like Kikyo?"  
  
"Hrmphmf," Inuyasha mumbled. Kagome suspected that she wouldn't understand the answer even if he weren't eating. She continued, "But even if we didn't get along very well then, it was actually kind of peaceful. I mean, we didn't know about Naraku then, so we thought we would just have to get the jewel shards one by one, taking each problem as it came. And we thought it would be like that until we got all the pieces. Boy were we wrong. Pretty strange, huh?"  
  
Silence.  
  
"Inuyasha?"  
  
*  
  
Clouds of heavy, foul-smelling smoke poured from the windows and doors of the old temple. Miroku covered his mouth and nose. He wished he had a poison-shielding mask like Sango did. It seemed to be doing a good job protecting her from this blasted stench.   
  
The demon-slayer was standing downwind, in front of the temple. "Ready, Miroku?" she called.  
  
"Ready!" Miroku loosened the beads on his hand.  
  
Dozens of fist-sized shapes shot out of the smoke, veering madly from side to side. Miroku yanked the beads off his hand. Suddenly the smoke and bees rushed toward him, and vanished into the tiny hole in Miroku's hand. As the last of the frantically buzzing bees vanished, he whipped the beads back over his wrist.  
  
"Done!" he called.  
  
Sango ran into the temple to extinguish the smoke. Miroku flexed his hand, smiling in satisfaction.  
  
The old monk was walking quickly down the road, with tears in his bloodshot eyes. "Dear Miroku, how can I thank you enough?" he said, smiling. "So quickly you destroyed those cursed bees! Now I and my fellow priests may stay here..."  
  
"It was nothing," Miroku said modestly. Somehow, after almost dying because of Naraku's poisonous wasps, it was always very satisfying to suck up bees, hornets and wasps. He flexed his hand. "But much of the credit is owed to the young lady in there."  
  
"Miroku!" Shippo called from Kirara's back. "Can I have this peach? It just fell off the tree."  
  
"Of course you may," the old monk said, clasping his hands. "Help yourself, young fox."  
  
A red blur shot into the orchard.  
  
Sango came out with the remains of her incense. She had put her skirt back on over her slayer uniform. "We should head back to the camp," she said. "Inuyasha and Kagome will be wondering what happened to us if we take much longer."  
  
Miroku's eyes widened. They had only been gone for a half hour. For himself, that would have been plenty of time -- but Inuyasha could be incredibly hesitant when it came to young ladies. He would need all the time Miroku could give him.  
  
"I-I have something to do in the village near here," the young monk said, scratching his head. "After all, I promised to buy Shippo some sweet dumplings when we left."  
  
Sango shrugged. "All right. I could use some more provisions and some polish for my boomerang."  
  
"First we should partake of this orchard," Miroku said. He plucked something from a tree. "Apple?"  
  
TO BE CONTINUED 


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE  
  
*  
  
"Now are we going back?" Sango said, crossing her arms.  
  
Miroku glanced back at Shippo, who was happily chomping sweet dumplings. He had bought extras, just to keep the little fox occupied. Kirara was nibbling on one too.  
  
Well, it would be worth it if Inuyasha finally became a man. Ah, Inuyasha, you'll be thanking me after today, he thought with a sly smile. He wouldn't tell the younger man at first -- Inuyasha had trust issues that meant death to anybody who tricked him.  
  
"What are you smiling at?" Sango asked.  
  
"Oh, nothing," Miroku said, wiping off the smile. "Nothing at all."  
  
"Well, you haven't answered my question."  
  
"Soon, soon. But I have some errands to run in the village."  
  
"What KIND of errands?" Sango crossed her arms again. "I mean, we have plenty of food now. You've given Shippo his sweet dumplings. What in the world could you need now?"  
  
"You'll see," Miroku said mysteriously. He had a lot of experience in wearing women down, and he was pretty sure he could manage it with Sango. Perhaps he would find her something in the village to calm her down -- a necklace or something. She was a demon-slayer and a feared warrior, but she wasn't lacking in femininity... well, at least he didn't think so. At least she wore a dress most of the time... although he did like seeing her in her form-fitting slayer's uniform...  
  
"You're doing it again," Sango said ominously. "You're smiling at nothing. What is going on?"  
  
"Nothing," Miroku said hastily. He got up and began walking down the road.  
  
"Shouldn't we ride on Kirara?" Sango said.  
  
"But it's such a beautiful day," Miroku said, waving his hand at the trees. "Don't you think a walk is in order? In our particular lives, we have so little time to enjoy simple pleasures..."  
  
Shippo hiccuped.   
  
Sango frowned. "Will you behave yourself?" she asked.  
  
Miroku sighed. "I will. You have my word."  
  
Sango reluctantly came along, with Shippo and Kirara trotting behind her. Miroku smiled and breathed deeply as they walked along the avenue to the village. It really was a pleasant day; he would have asked her even if he hadn't been trying to buy Inuyasha and Kagome time.  
  
He started to put his arm around Sango's shoulders, then let it fall. No point in pushing my luck, he thought.  
  
*  
  
"I don't know what you're up to," Sango said, narrowing her eyes. "But I can already tell it's something bad."  
  
She was holding two rolls of silk in her arms, along with a fruit basket and a few bottles of sake. Miroku had been haggling with this jewelry dealer for almost half an hour, and Sango was sorely tempted to start hitting him with one of the bottles.  
  
If he thinks he can seduce me with a day full of errands, he's sadly mistaken, Sango thought sourly.   
  
Finally Miroku wore out the jewelry dealer, and rejoined the group with two small necklaces. "I thought you could have one, and Kagome the other," he said, holding one out in each hand. "Which would you prefer?"  
  
Sango stared at the two necklaces. Even before her village had been destroyed, she hadn't had much jewelry. It just got in the way in battle. But Miroku actually looked sincere in his offer. "This," she said, plucking the one with green beads.  
  
Miroku tucked the other into his robes. "Now then, how about dinner?"  
  
"Miroku, we've been away from the camp for almost six hours now," Sango exploded.   
  
"Are you tired?"  
  
"Yes. And Inuyasha and Kagome will be worried about us by now."  
  
"Of course they aren't," Miroku said, waving away her concerns. "If Inuyasha were concerned, he'd be on the rooftops looking for us, saying that we're slowing him down and what the hell are we thinking."   
  
"I'm hungry," Shippo announced.  
  
"Even after all those dumplings?" Sango said, astounded.  
  
"Yep." Shippo examined the toy horse that Miroku had bought him. "Hey Miroku, why are you buying all this stuff?"  
  
"After that very successful extermination that Sango and Inuyasha did in that previous village, we have a little money to spare," Miroku said. It was technically true; those villagers had been so grateful to get rid of the monstrous demon leeches that they had paid the group quite handsomely.  
  
"I am going back to the camp," Sango said, dumping the silk in Miroku's arm and taking a brief sip of sake. "We've been away for six hours, with only a short while devoted to actual demon-slaying. I'm tired. Shippo is hungry. And I don't want Kagome and Inuyasha to worry."  
  
Kirara transformed into a horse-sized demon cat with enormous fangs. Sango climbed onto her back and looked back at Miroku. "Are you coming?"  
  
Miroku sighed deeply and sat as well. "Very well, if you insist." He just hoped that six hours had been enough time for Inuyasha...  
  
TO BE CONTINUED 


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX  
  
*  
  
I just hope they've finished already, Miroku thought. If not, then he would guide Sango away firmly, tell her what was going on, and try to get Shippo back to the village for a few more hours.   
  
He scanned under the trees as Kirara roared down onto the ground, with flames wrapped around her enormous paws. As the monk and demon-slayer dismounted, the demon-cat vanished in a swirl of flame, only to reappear as a kitten-sized version of her larger self. Kirara mewed and leaped onto her mistress's shoulder.  
  
"Kagome?" Sango called.  
  
"I'm over here," Kagome's voice called. "I'm glad you got back so soon. I was starting to worry."  
  
"I'm sorry it took so long," Sango said, shooting a cold look at Miroku.  
  
Miroku followed her meekly back to the campsite. Kagome was curled up by the fire, with her knitting in her hands and a textbook in her lap. She smiled brightly at them. "How did the thing with the demon bees go?"  
  
"It went well," said Miroku casually. "How were things?"  
  
"They were okay," Kagome said, tugging at a knot.  
  
Miroku looked behind her. Inuyasha was curled up like a puppy under the tree, with his long legs drawn up against his chest. He whimpered a little in his sleep and nuzzled against Kagome's backpack, where his head was resting. The only thing in his arms was his sword.   
  
I don't believe it, Miroku thought, astounded.  
  
"He fell asleep about fifteen minutes after you left," Kagome said. "Shippo, can you untangle this yarn knot for me? Your fingers are littler than mine."  
  
As Shippo began yanking and tweaking the yarn with great enthusiasm, Miroku mulled over what she had said. "And nothing before falling asleep?" he asked slowly.  
  
"Well, I made him some ramen, and we talked for a little while about stuff. Then, while I was talking to him, he just curled up and went to sleep." She looked over at the sleeping boy under the tree. "He must've really been tired. It's a good thing you didn't bring him along."  
  
"Yes, yes, of course," mumbled Miroku. He stared in disbelief at Inuyasha's sleeping form. The half-demon rolled over and mumbled something incoherent.   
  
"Inuyasha!" Kagome called. "Wakie-wakie. They're back, and you've been sleeping way too long."  
  
Inuyasha started up. For a moment he looked rumpled and confused. Then he looked at Kagome, flushed, and crept up the nearest tree.   
  
"I don't know why he does that," Kagome said to Sango. "Sometimes he just wakes up and won't talk to me at all."  
  
Miroku was fairly sure he knew what the dream had been about. He sighed deeply and rubbed his face. At least I know he's not completely hopeless, he thought. Inuyasha would just take a little more work. Miroku settled back against a tree and began to think up a new plan.  
  
*  
  
Inuyasha slipped down the tree about an hour later, after Kagome called up that she was feeding Shippo his ramen if he didn't get his bottom down at the campfire right away.   
  
Today wasn't a rousing success, Miroku thought. He was tired and Sango was refusing to talk to him. Inuyasha had slept all afternoon; Kagome had knitted and studied. Only Shippo, who was currently snoring in Kagome's sleeping bag, had had a good time. He had a new toy and had eaten to his heart's content.  
  
Miroku lay back down on a blanket and watched the stars overhead. The sound of the girls splashing and giggling in the hot springs was alluring, but he knew Inuyasha was watching him. The young half-demon was determined not to peep, even if he didn't get caught. Miroku had been caught and dragged away by him more than once.  
  
Well, he's shy, Miroku thought, resting his head on his hand. After all, the first woman Inuyasha had fallen for had pinned him to a tree for fifty years with a magical arrow. That sort of thing could make most young men a bit hesitant. But once he had gotten over his initial shyness, perhaps Inuyasha would be a little more inclined to give in to a few temptations. The liking that he tried to hide, but everyone saw.  
  
I'll just have to think up something new, he thought with a faint smile. It would be simple, yet effective. And if that didn't work, then he would try something else.  
  
"Inuyasha?" he called.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED 


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN  
  
*  
  
Miroku leaned back against the tree and looked up into the trees. "So... never?" he asked slowly.  
  
"No." Inuyasha hunched over the portable water pot that Kagome took with her all the time. He was fairly sure he knew how to turn the thing on, and could probably heat some water without scalding himself.  
  
"You have been travelling with Kagome for all these months," Miroku said slowly, as if the idea. "You spent a great deal of time. Bathing, sleeping, around one another almost all the time."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"And you never...?" Miroku raised his eyebrows.  
  
"No, we didn't, you pervert monk." Inuyasha glared over his shoulder. "Not that it's any of your business. So butt out."  
  
"Not even ONCE?"  
  
"Butt out."  
  
"Never?"  
  
"No."  
  
Miroku mulled it over. "Not even a LITTLE?" he asked.  
  
"What do you mean, a lit... never mind, I don't want to know," Inuyasha growled, trying to fill the pot from Kagome's water bottle. He only ended up squirting himself in the face.   
  
He was still a little groggy from his long nap. And that dream... he blushed a little at the memory of what Kagome had been doing to him in that dream, after she appeared right next to him inside the well -- not the ideal place for an amorous rendezvous. He still wasn't sure why he -- or Kagome -- would choose to do THAT in the well of all places. Maybe Miroku was rubbing off on him. He certainly HOPED not.  
  
"You're growling again," Miroku said. "And I'm fairly sure I haven't done anything wrong."  
  
"Sure you haven't," Inuyasha sneered.  
  
"Not in the last five minutes."  
  
"Feh." Inuyasha managed to empty the water bottle into the kettle and put it over the fire. Miroku settled back and contemplated the others in the camp: Kirara was dozing on a sleeping bag, and Shippo was mesmerized by a tiny lava lamp that Kagome had brought him.  
  
After a while, Sango wandered back to the fire, shaking out her wet hair. She had already redressed in her slayer's uniform and the skirt she usually wore over it.   
  
"Where's Kagome?" Miroku asked, crossing his legs.  
  
"She's going to relax awhile longer," Sango said, wringing out her long hair. "I think I'll go for a walk down by the riverside."  
  
"Sound idea," Miroku said.  
  
Sango's eyes flickered, as if she were uncertain. "Do you want to come?"  
  
"I would love to," Miroku said truthfully. Sango's prior irritation with him seemed to have lessened, and normally an evening stroll with Sango under the stars would have brought him to her side in an instant. "But I'm afraid I have a prior obligation."  
  
"Prior obligation?" Sango asked, frowning. "Such as what?"  
  
"That, I'm afraid, is a secret."  
  
"If you watch Kagome in the spring, Inuyasha will murder you. Slowly."  
  
"I had no intention of watching her," Miroku said. He watched Sango walk away quickly, with Kirara bouncing and mewing after her. Then he glanced to Inuyasha, who was still waiting for the pot to boil. Judging from his expression, he hadn't heard a word of what Miroku and Sango had said.   
  
Miroku cleared his throat. "Inuyasha?"  
  
"What?" Inuyasha said absently.   
  
"Did you hear what Sango said?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Kagome is waiting for you at the hot springs. She says it's urgent."  
  
Inuyasha looked puzzled. With a last venomous glare at the pot, he got up and raced off into the woods. "I'll be back in a minute."  
  
Miroku settled back with a smile. Things always went wrong when he witnessed the girls in a state of undress. But with Sango off by the river, and himself at the campsite, perhaps Inuyasha might be a little more tempted by what he saw...  
  
About five minutes later, Inuyasha stormed back into the camp, sporting a bruise on one cheek and a lump on his head. "She was NOT asking to see me!" he snarled, grabbing the front of Miroku's clothes.  
  
"She wasn't?" Miroku asked, genuinely puzzled.  
  
"Well, when she asks to see me, she doesn't usually scream and hit me with a rock," Inuyasha snapped. "Or call me a lousy sneaking perv, which is usually what they call YOU."  
  
Miroku frowned as Inuyasha slunk off to the fireside to check on his hot water. I was sloppy, he thought. I forgot that Inuyasha isn't the only one involved in this. Well, I suppose this means I'm not the only one who gets clobbered when I encounter the girls. The girls simply do that to any male who gets close enough.  
  
He stifled a smile at the idea of Inuyasha bursting into the hot spring, with Kagome trying to relax in the hot water. "Sneaking" wasn't something he excelled at. A potential romance had ended in a farce.  
  
the monk stretched and glanced over at the basket of supplies they had bought that afternoon. He had just remembered something that might just work...  
  
TO BE CONTINUED 


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER EIGHT  
  
*  
  
"... I don't know, maybe Miroku's rubbing off on him."  
  
Miroku's ears pricked at the sound of the girls' voices. Inuyasha, on the other hand, seemed to shrivel slightly, as if he was afraid of what they were planning for him. A look of distinct pain crossed his face at being compared to Miroku.  
  
"... he comes running into the hot springs and almost falls in, for crying out loud -- no subtlety. His eyes got huge, right before I said that word. He's not that good at it, if you think about it."  
  
If he were, Miroku thought, I doubt he would still be a virgin.   
  
Inuyasha crawled into a tree as the girls walked into the camp, laughing amongst themselves. "Where's Inuyasha?" Sango asked.   
  
Miroku pointed up into the tree leaves.   
  
"He's embarrassed," Shippo elaborated further, turning his lava lamp upside down.   
  
The rest of the evening was spent roasting a pig caught earlier, and Kagome trying to coax Inuyasha out of the tree. Miroku settled back on a patch of thick grass, watching the stars twinkle through the branches and around Inuyasha's body. There was a brief commotion that ended with "Sit!", a horrified howl and the sound of Inuyasha crashing to the ground.  
  
"Would you STOP that?" Inuyasha snapped. "If I wanna be alone, that's MY business."  
  
"Not if you're trying to avoid apologizing," Kagome retorted, wiping the dirt from his face.   
  
"Apologizing for WHAT?"  
  
"For taking a peek at me. Actually, it was more than a peek. I haven't seen that expression on your face since you set off the camera flash in your own eyes."  
  
"I DID NOT PEEK! I WAS TRYING TO TALK TO YOU!"  
  
Miroku sighed heavily as the sound of the two launching into another ridiculous argument rose over the crackle of the fire. They never stopped. Or rather, it just seemed that way. He suspected that it was their odd way of showing attention to one another without getting too close.  
  
Miroku sat up and stretched.   
  
I should give Inuyasha a little time to make up with Kagome, he thought. He patted the bag of supplies and smiled.   
  
*  
  
The small group packed up camp the next morning and set off again in search of more jewel shards. Miroku kept an eye on Kagome and Inuyasha, who bickered all throughout the next day. It was useless to try to make peace between them, and so no one tried.  
  
"Do you sense any jewel shards, Kagome?" Sango asked on the third night, as she stoked the fire.  
  
"No, none," Kagome said over the sound of Inuyasha slurping ramen. "Should we head for that village? You said you had been there before?"  
  
"Yes, I exterminated a demon spider from there a year or two ago," Sango said. "Why are you making that face, Inuyasha?"  
  
"We had a bad experience with demon spiders awhile back," Kagome said, patting Inuyasha's shoulder. "Anyway, once we get there I'm going to unpack something and we're going to have fun, just us girls."  
  
"Doing what?"  
  
"I am going to introduce you to the joy of manicures."  
  
"Of what?"  
  
Inuyasha made a garbled "feh" noise and resumed eating. When Kagome opened one of the tiny bottles of nail polish, he flinched and reseated himself upwind.   
  
Miroku patted Shippo's little head and went off by himself. He had been carrying the food supplies for the past few days, just to make sure nothing happened to them. This time, I'm sure Inuyasha will be able to get past his insecurities, he thought, taking one of the bottles out of the bag. All it took was the right timing near Kagome...  
  
TO BE CONTINUED 


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE  
  
*  
  
"Are you even supposed to drink that stuff?" Inuyasha asked.  
  
Miroku carefully set down his sake cup and crossed his arms. "Far be it from me to deny myself simple sustenance. I am merely a humble monk."  
  
"That ain't SUSTENANCE, it's booze."  
  
He glanced over at the other side of the campsite. Kagome and Sango were giggling and whispering as they painted one another's fingernails. Miroku smiled slightly.  
  
"Can I have some?" Shippo asked, eyeing the sake bottle hopefully.  
  
"No," Miroku said, sipping from his cup again. "Maybe when you're older." He picked up the sake bottle and held it out to Inuyasha. "Do you care to try it, Inuyasha? It's of excellent quality, especially considering what a small village I bought it in."  
  
The young half-demon looked at it out of the corner of his eye. "Don't want any," he said gruffly, before adding, "No thanks."  
  
"Oh come now," Miroku said, smiling. "Haven't you had it before?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Then how do you know you don't like it?" Miroku argued, pouring the sake into his cup.  
  
"Kagome says that when I don't like my dinner," Shippo announced. The little fox-demon was sprawled on his stomach, playing with Kirara's fluffy striped tails.   
  
"Except that sake doesn't help anybody, unlike Shippo's dinner," Inuyasha argued. "Besides, I saw that monk who raised you. I could smell the sake on that guy from a mile away. Literally." He folded his hands into his sleeves and wrinkled his nose.  
  
"Oh come now," Miroku said, holding out the sake cup. "Don't tell me you're afraid..."  
  
It did the trick -- as Miroku had known it would. An affront to his courage or strength was one thing that Inuyasha couldn't ever stand. Inuyasha's golden eyes widened, and he shot the monk a searing look. Before Miroku could say anything, he snatched the cup away and downed the contents in one gulp. Then the young half-demon made a small, strained face. "Happy now?" he demanded.  
  
"Have some more," Miroku said, pouring more into the cup. Inuyasha seemed about to protest, but then seemed to remember the perceived affront to his dignity. He took a hesitant sip.  
  
"I thought this would be a good way to bond," Miroku said conversationally.  
  
"Bond?"  
  
"Yes, the way the girls have. You and I started off on the wrong foot, and it's affected our friendship ever since."  
  
"We started off on the wrong hand. YOUR hand. On Kagome's body," Inuyasha said bluntly.   
  
Miroku winced. "Yes... well, erm, that was regrettable."  
  
"You're tellin' me," Inuyasha said. He took another sip of sake and contemplated the inside of the cup. "If you did that now, I'd still pound you to a pulp. If Sango didn't first."  
  
Miroku smiled as he took a second cup from inside his robes and poured himself more sake. Inuyasha wasn't drinking particularly fast -- all the better, since he wouldn't expect to get tipsy very fast. Miroku took a deep breath and began, "So, Inuyasha, let's talk about Kagome..."  
  
"What about her?" Inuyasha said with a hint of suspicion.  
  
"Well, I haven't heard much about your early days together. She hasn't spoken much about them. Tell me, were you interested in her from the start, perhaps because of her resemblance to Kikyo? How soon were you... ahem, THAT way?"  
  
Inuyasha stared at Miroku, then downed the rest of his sake. "I don't even know what you're talkin' about."  
  
Half an hour later, Miroku glanced over at the girls, who were now cooking fish over the campfire. Inuyasha, despite his initial sullenness, was now more relaxed and had mellowed noticeably. But, Miroku noticed with chagrin, he still seemed in full command of his insecurities and shyness.  
  
When offered more sake, Inuyasha held up his hands. "I've had enough, thank you," he said. He stood and wandered over, a bit unsteadily, to crouch by Kagome's side.   
  
Miroku frowned. Though he was sitting closer to her than he usually did, Inuyasha seemed uninclined to make the first move. Well, there's only one thing to do, he thought. He picked up the sake bottle and went over to Inuyasha's side.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED 


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN  
  
*  
  
"Here, Kagome, let me handle that," Miroku offered. "Why don't you untangle Shippo?"  
  
"Help!" came a high, thin voice from a massive tangle of Kagome's yarn. Looking slightly startled, Kagome handed the cooking spoon to Miroku, and went to work extracting the little fox-demon from her knitting.  
  
Inuyasha was crouching by the fire, watching the boiling kettle intently. More intently than normal, given that he had downed a fair amount of sake. Miroku gave him a nudge in the shoulder. "Inuyasha, your ramen won't be ready for a few minutes. And please don't stare at me like that while I'm preparing it."  
  
Inuyasha wandered off. He was acting far more pleasant than usual, Miroku noted, but not enough to go much further with Kagome. With a slight smile, the monk emptied the remainder of the sake into the dried ramen cup, then filled it up with the hot water from the kettle. After a few minutes had passed, he announced, "Inuyasha, your ramen is ready. Girls, the fish are finished."  
  
"... I'll just have to cut you out, that's all," Kagome said to the tangle of red yarn. "Just start eating without me, everyone.   
  
Inuyasha landed next to Miroku and sniffed his ramen. "Smells funny, Kagome."  
  
"It's all in your head, Inuyasha," Kagome said distractedly, cutting long loops of yarn. "That's the same brand as last week. Just eat it."  
  
Inuyasha sniffed suspiciously at the ramen, and poked it with a finger. Miroku held his breath, half-afraid that the smell of sake would alert Inuyasha to what he had done. But after a moment, the half-demon started shovelling in the noodles with loud slurps.  
  
Miroku breathed a sigh of relief.  
  
After he had finished the ramen, Inuyasha sprawled out at the fireside, resting his chin on his fist. His eyes had taken on a slightly glazed look, and he seemed to be wobbling. His usual scowl had softened, and when Shippo bounced onto his head, he barely noticed.  
  
Good thing he's not a belligerent drunk, Miroku thought. If he were, they would have been in deep trouble. He had met -- sometimes wrestled with -- men who reacted to liquor by trying to beat anything moving to a pulp. The idea of a drunk with demonic strength wasn't a pleasant one. Fortunately, Inuyasha seemed to be mellow enough.  
  
"Inuyasha, I know it wasn't your fault..."  
  
Miroku broke out of his thoughts. But when he glanced back at Kagome and Inuyasha, he found that they were hardly in an amorous embrace. Instead, Inuyasha was clinging to Kagome in an almost smothering manner, with his head resting heavily on her shoulder. "I don't know why she hates me so much, it's not like I did anything wrong," he was rambling in a choked voice. "Do you know why, Kagome?"  
  
"No, I don't," Kagome said, patting him on the head.   
  
Miroku wanted to groan, but didn't dare to let it out. Inuyasha had to bring up Kikyo, he thought. The one thing that would have the reverse effect on Kagome.   
  
He watched glumly as Inuyasha continued rambling unhappily about Kikyo's fury with him, his brother's hatred of him, his mother, and a variety of other unhappy or dark subjects. Kagome continued cuddling him in a manner more in keeping with a lost puppy than a potential lover. She looked annoyed at having Kikyo mentioned, but said nothing about it. After awhile, Inuyasha seemed to get over his melancholia, much to Miroku's relief.  
  
Instead, the younger man was crouched beside Kagome with a slight smile on his face. He was still wobbling a little. Kagome seemed blissfully oblivious to this; she just started gnawing on her very cold dinner.  
  
"Inuyasha's acting a little strange," Sango said.   
  
"Yes, I had noticed," Miroku said.  
  
Sango shot him a suspicious look. "What exactly were you two doing?"  
  
"Just drinking a bottle of sake."  
  
"One bottle?"  
  
"Yes. Why?"  
  
Kagome was starting to look nervous. Inuyasha was leaning closer and nuzzling her neck playfully. But much to Miroku's frustration, he showed no inclination to go any further. Finally Kagome set down her plate and announced, "Inuyasha, you're drunk."  
  
"Hmm?" Inuyasha murmured, resting his chin on her shoulder.  
  
"I can smell it on your breath. Just how much sake did you drink?"  
  
"Less'n'Miroku." Inuyasha draped one of his legs over Kagome's lap and leaned heavily against her. Having gotten over his unhappiness, he seemed to be less amorous than sleepy.  
  
Sango rounded on Miroku, her eyes sparking. "Just how much of that bottle did he drink?"  
  
"Half," Miroku lied.   
  
His genuine dismay apparently convinced Sango. "I guess he just can't handle it," she said, looking at Inuyasha.  
  
The half-demon had somehow managed to curl up in Kagome's lap, and was now snoozing happily. Kagome called quietly, "Sango! Help me get him off!" The demon-slayer crept over to Inuyasha and slipped her arms around his chest. But as she started to lift him, there was a loud ripping sound.  
  
"Quick! Put him down!" Kagome called. Inuyasha's claws were tangled in her school uniform. Sango hastily dropped him, and Kagome made a strangled, pained noise as the drunken half-demon landed on her legs. Inuyasha just snuggled against her and mumbled something in his sleep.  
  
No wonder he's still a virgin, Miroku thought, sighing. Even drunk, he doesn't lose his inhibitions. On to the next plan -- but it will have to wait until we get to the next village. Fortunately I know the innkeeper quite well...  
  
TO BE CONTINUED 


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER ELEVEN  
  
*  
  
"Don't go near Inuyasha," Sango said.  
  
Miroku blinked and rubbed his eyes. Morning had come all too soon, and he suspected that the sun had gotten a lot brighter than it had been the day before. He yawned. "Why not?"  
  
"Inuyasha isn't happy."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Well, because he has a splitting headache, an upset stomach, and morning breath that could fell a dozen swamp demons," Sango said calmly, folding her slender hands. "Not surprisingly, he's in a thoroughly foul mood. He'd probably tear you apart if he could walk in a straight line without falling over."  
  
Miroku closed his eyes. "Odd. I suppose he can't handle sake very well. I feel more or less all right." It was stretching the truth; he had a faint dull pain behind his eyes, but nothing that a little fresh air and water couldn't cure. He suspected that the hapless Inuyasha needed a lot more than that. "How foul a mood?"  
  
"If you want to keep your head where it is, then don't go near him. The only people who can go near him are Kagome and-"  
  
Sango broke off as a small moving object sailed over them, wailing all the way. Shippo landed in the dust and tumbled head over tail, right into a drainage ditch. Miroku winced.  
  
"I stand corrected. He'll only let Kagome get near him," Sango said dryly.   
  
*  
  
I really do need to be a little more subtle, Miroku thought. He watched a dragonfly hop from one blade of grass to another, contemplating his next move.  
  
It was early afternoon and Inuyasha was still hung over, groaning and crawling around the campsite. "Well, next time maybe you should stick to water," Kagome had been saying earlier. "Don't give me that look. Are you still feeling sick?" As the miserable half-demon sprawled out on the ground and let Kagome rub his back, Miroku and Sango edged away. It was a good idea to leave Inuyasha alone until he felt better.  
  
"I see it's going to be necessary to try something a little different," Miroku murmured as he walked along the riverbank. "Simple, not very potentially harmful, and certainly something that he would be too dense-"  
  
His thoughts were broken by a gagging noise. Inuyasha's legs and back were huddled up just outside the bushes, and his head and shoulders were completely hidden by the leaves. Kagome was sitting next to him, patting his back and saying, "It's okay, Inuyasha -- once you're done, you'll feel a lot better."  
  
There was a wet, retching noise from inside the bushes.  
  
"Or maybe you won't," Kagome amended.  
  
Maybe he should try eating some grass, Miroku thought, continuing on his way. Kagome and Inuyasha hadn't noticed his presence, so he didn't feel that he should intrude. Besides, in Inuyasha's present state of mind, he might decide to rip Miroku to shreds. Even considering what he had been doing in those bushes...  
  
Miroku smiled as he rememberede his embryonic plan. They would be at the inn in a few days, give or take, assuming that Inuyasha recovered fairly soon. The ancient innkeeper was an old friend of his, and had been a friend of his father before Miroku was born. And Miroku knew that the innkeeper would readily provide their group with the "special" room that villagers for miles around knew about.  
  
No muss, no fuss, no problems, he thought. So simple, yet quite effective in theory. And I'm sure Inuyasha will like this a lot more than a drunken seduction. For one thing, less guilt, since he feels guilty so very easily. I'll have to go ahead on Kirara to get things ready for him and Kagome...  
  
TO BE CONTINUED 


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER TWELVE  
  
*  
  
They set out to the next town the following morning, when Inuyasha's head was no longer on fire. Kagome had managed to repair her clothes with a stapler, and Inuyasha steadfastly refused to acknowledge that he had torn the dress in the first place. The first few days were spent in near-silence, since Inuyasha shouted at anyone who spoke. He spent most of his time in the trees, nursing his headache.  
  
"Just how much did I say?" he was asking Kagome as they walked down a country road.  
  
Miroku shaded his eyes. In the distance, below the rapidly-sinking sun, he could see the oddly-shaped mountain near the village. It looked like a craggy face examining the sky. He smiled slightly.  
  
"You didn't say too much. Except about Kikyo. And Sesshoumaru. And..." Kagome hesitated as she saw Inuyasha's eye twitching. "Well, it won't be a problem if you don't drink any more sake, right?"  
  
"I wanna know EVERYTHING I said when I was drunk," Inuyasha insisted. "Every word!"  
  
"Just about Kikyo, or everything?" Kagome asked tartly.  
  
Inuyasha flushed slightly. "All of it!"  
  
The two of them bickered somewhat over the remaining miles. Miroku glanced up at the red sun and the faded moon, then looked at Sango. "My friends, perhaps I should take Kirara ahead to the village in the distance. I happen to be good friends with the innkeeper, and could probably secure some good rooms for us."  
  
"Good friends?"  
  
"Oh yes. A family friend, in fact. He was a great help to my father before me."  
  
Sango looked back at Kagome and nodded. "Inuyasha, what do you think of that idea?" Kagome asked.  
  
"Feh," was all Inuyasha said.  
  
"He says yes," Kagome translated.  
  
The tiny demon-cat vanished in a swirl of flame, only to reappear as a giant, fanged beast. She stood still while Miroku climbed onto her back, and rode her into the sky.  
  
*  
  
"Miroku!" cried old Haru, dropping his broom and rushing over to Miroku. His bloodshot eyes filled with tears, and his grey topknot bobbed unsteadily over his head.   
  
"It's been far too long, Haru," Miroku said warmly, gripping the old inkeeper's hands. "I've often longed to return here -- your inn is still the most luxurious one I've stayed in."  
  
Haru hid his face. "You flatter me, young monk. Where have you been? You have been absent so long that I feared your curse had overcome you."  
  
"Not yet, not so far," Miroku said. Despite his casual tone, he could feel his cursed hand twitching. "But enough talk of that for now. I've been travelling with some friends, searching for fragments of the Shikon jewel. They should be here in an hour or so, hungry and tired."  
  
Haru winked. "Are these friends young ladies?"  
  
Miroku laughed. "Two are. But not the way you're thinking, lovely as they are." He crossed his arms. "Haru, I need your help. I'm going to need to reserve that... special room for use tonight."  
  
"Ah, fortunately it is empty right now."  
  
"Good. But not for me. I have a friend who is... shall we say, quite shy with his young lady." Miroku sighed. "As a result, I'll need two rooms -- one for myself, a child, a cat, and a young lady -- with utterly pure intentions, I assure you."  
  
"Say no more," Haru said, winking again. "I'll go get the special room ready before they arrive. Now you must eat as you wait for your friends. Sit down and I'll fetch some food..." He bustled off.  
  
Miroku smiled fondly as he sat down on the floor and waited for the food to arrive. He looked on Mushin's old friend as a sort of surrogate uncle -- and now a sort of accomplice. He kept a certain room near the back of his inn, one richly furnished. Local love charms were on the walls and woven into the blankets. What Miroku thought was more effective was the flowers and the incense, which had a certain... aphrodesiac quality. Inuyasha really did need all the help he could get.  
  
Miroku sat back with a smile, and watched the sun set.   
  
TO BE CONTINUED 


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN  
  
*  
  
The sun was setting, and Miroku was halfway through his dinner, when he heard the voices of his companions. Or more correctly, he heard Inuyasha first, and the girls a few minutes later. He sighed. As always, the younger man was as subtle and quiet as a rampaging bull.   
  
Miroku dropped a bit of fish in front of Kirara. She gobbled it up, then began washing her paws. She had already eaten most of one serving, even as a tiny cat.  
  
"Looks like a dump to me."  
  
"Inuyasha, be quiet."  
  
"They'd better have some decent dinner or I'm going out to kill something and drag it back."  
  
The three of them appeared in the doorway, with Shippo clinging to Kagome's shoulder.   
  
"Good people, welcome!" Haru rushed over with a wide, gap-toothed smile. "I am deeply honored that you have come to my inn tonight. I hope you will like everything -- and you!" Much to Inuyasha's discomfort, the old man seized his hands and shook them enthusiastically. "You I welcome most of all. Any friend of dear Miroku's is a friend of mine."  
  
"Who says we're friends?" Inuyasha said, trying to pull away his hands.  
  
The half-demon stayed sulky throughout the dinner, although he ate more than Miroku and Sango put together. The monk suspected that Inuyasha's ego was still smarting from his recent bout of drunkenness. So easily bruised, Miroku thought. I swear, if I didn't know better, I'd think he was a lot younger than he is.  
  
As the evening wore on, Kagome barely stopped a food fight between Inuyasha and Shippo. Deciding this was the right time, Miroku announced loudly, "I think that we had better get to sleep. We have a long journey ahead of us. Haru, are you here?"  
  
"Yes, Miroku," the old man said, scuttling over. "I have your rooms ready." He winked at Miroku and then at Inuyasha, who looked mildly unnerved.  
  
Things didn't improve when they reached the hallway where their rooms were. "Two rooms?" Inuyasha repeated, looking at the hallway. "How come? Normally we all sleep in the same room."  
  
"I know," Miroku said, shrugging. "But Haru had an extra room and is allowing us to use it, free of charge. It would be rude to refuse."  
  
"We could use the extra room," Sango said, folding a blanket.  
  
"Exactly," Miroku said. He opened one of the doors and gestured inside. "Ladies first, Sango."  
  
A stony silence met him. Miroku felt uneasy with the others looking at him so disapprovingly; he hadn't expected them to suspect his intentions... well, not that way. Then Sango picked up Shippo and walked quickly inside. Pausing in the doorway of the "special" room, Inuyasha called out, "If you need any help, Sango, just yell and I'll come beat him up for ya."  
  
"I guess chivalry ISN'T dead," Kagome said, tugging on Inuyasha's arm. "Come on, I think Sango can take care of herself."  
  
The door slid shut behind them.   
  
*  
  
Miroku spent a quiet half-hour carving designs on a small string of wooden prayer beads; Sango was sharpening her blades, and Shippo was playing with Kirara. A small oil lamp cast a shadow on the four of them, and Miroku was starting to get pleasantly drowsy. He glanced over at his bedding, wondering what time it was.  
  
Sango had initially been rather cold to Miroku. But when she realized that he wasn't using their shared room as an excuse to seduce her, she relaxed and even hummed as she worked.  
  
I wonder what's going on next door, Miroku thought.  
  
His question was answered by the sound of scrabbling, and a faint squeal from Kagome. A loud thump against the wall. More scrabbling. A faint grunting noise that sounded like Inuyasha, followed by the sound of soft murmuring, growling and pottery breaking. The wall shivered. More thumps.  
  
Sango apparently was thinking the same thing as Miroku. Her face flushed, and she quickly dragged Shippo, Kirara, and her bedding to the opposite side of the room. "Hey Sango, what's wrong?" Shippo was asking as he was pulled along by his tail. "Shouldn't someone go check on Inuyasha and Kagome? It sounds like she's sitting him pretty hard."  
  
Miroku just smiled and lay back on his bedding. Finally, I have some success, he thought.   
  
TO BE CONTINUED 


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER FOURTEEN  
  
*  
  
Miroku slept soundly through the night, content in the knowledge that he had finally arranged for Inuyasha to become a man. Sure, it had taken several days, blows to the head, a sacrificed moonlit walk with Sango, quite a bit of money and a bottle of sake, but thankfully the young half-demon had finally given in. He'd be all the better for it -- perhaps it would improve his attitude.  
  
Sango didn't seem to agree. The lovely demon-slayer spent the night on the far end of the room. She seemed determined to sleep with her hands clamped over Shippo's tiny pointed ears, apparently to keep out the sounds of Inuyasha and Kagome from the next room. Shippo didn't seem too happy about this idea.  
  
Though he spent most of the night sleeping. Miroku was woken occasionally by more thumping, scrabbling, grunts, whispering and the occasional overexcited squeak on the other side of the wall. It went on more or less through the night, with only brief pauses.  
  
My, Inuyasha has much more stamina than I'd given him credit for, the monk thought, smiling. I guess he's making up for lost time. Yawning, Miroku rolled over and went back to sleep.  
  
*  
  
The next morning was sunny and mild; Miroku woke in an extremely good mood, after an extremely pleasant dream about a fluctuating number of pretty courtesans. All of whom had borne a remarkable resemblance to Sango. I think the symbolism of that dream is fairly obvious, Miroku thought, rubbing his chin.  
  
No sooner had Sango woken up, still clutching Shippo's small red head, than the door slid open. It was Inuyasha, looking worn out and groggy. "G'morning," he mumbled. Sango shot him a withering glare, as she began packing her weapons.  
  
"You look tired, Inuyasha," Miroku said.   
  
"I'm worn out. I barely got a wink of sleep until the sun rose." Inuyasha rubbed the back of his neck.  
  
"I know," Miroku said, hoping that his smile wasn't turning into a leer. "You were quite audible through the walls."  
  
"I was?" Inuyasha said, pausing in mid-scratch. "Whadja hear?"  
  
Kagome's voice floated from out in the hallway. "Sorry, Miroku. I tried to keep quiet the whole time, so we wouldn't wake you guys up, but Inuyasha couldn't manage it. He kept making these little growling noises."  
  
"I couldn't help it," Inuyasha said over his shoulder. He yawned and rubbed his drooping dog ears. "I don't know how I kept at that all night."  
  
Miroku chuckled and clapped Inuyasha on the shoulder. He'd be sure to ask about it later. "Well, it doesn't really matter. I'm just glad you managed to finally do it. Even if it DID take you quite some time."  
  
Inuyasha looked slightly startled, but nodded. "Okay."  
  
"I'm very pleased that things have turned out so well," Miroku said warmly, hoping he sounded like a worldly older brother. When it came to the ladies, he practically was one for Inuyasha.   
  
"Well, it wasn't easy, but I think I got 'em all." Inuyasha thrust something in Miroku's face. "You might wanna tell your friend that his best room's got a rat problem."  
  
Miroku was too stunned to react for a moment. It was a dead rat.  
  
Sango's eyes widened. "There were... rats in your room?" she said slowly. Shippo bounced onto her head and made a face. "Ewwww..." he called.  
  
"Dozens of 'em," Inuyasha said grimly. "We were getting ready to go to sleep when one of them ran over Kagome's feet. She squealed, jumped up on a chair and wouldn't come off it. So I chased the rat and killed it-"  
  
"I've never seen you run into the walls like that," Kagome said, sticking her head into the room. "I thought your head was going to break through the wall. Are you okay?"  
  
"I'm fine," Inuyasha said, dangling the rat by its tail. "Anyway, I killed it, and another one comes out of there. I spent the whole night running into the damn walls, trying to grab the rats. Kagome spent the night on the chair."  
  
"Partly because you ripped up the bedding," Kagome said.   
  
"A rat ran in there."  
  
"So? You didn't have to go crazy and try to shred it!"  
  
Miroku frowned. "Uh, Inuyasha... did anything else happen?"  
  
Inuyasha thought it over. "Well, that incense was making me dizzy. So I threw it out the window. You might wanna tell your friend about that too."  
  
Inwardly, Miroku groaned. This night certainly hadn't turned out the way he had intended for it to. "Ah well," he said with a slight smile. "I suppose nothing turns out perfectly."  
  
TO BE CONTINUED 


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER FIFTEEN  
  
*  
  
"I told you, I don't need a nap," Inuyasha slurred, glaring at Miroku and Sango. Draped over his back, Kagome mumbled something in her sleep and snuggled against the back of Inuyasha's neck.   
  
Miroku barely restrained a sigh of exasperation. Inuyasha was being his usual stubborn self, refusing to accept that he wasn't invulnerable. The monk was starting to suspect that tying him down and hitting him over the head would be the only means of subduing him.   
  
Their journey had not started off well. First Inuyasha had frightened half the girls in the inn by carrying an armful of dead rats to the door. Now they were travelling by a back road, were quite possibly lost, and Kagome was fast asleep on Inuyasha's back. Inuyasha, after a night of rodent-chasing, was in a foul mood, and seemed fairly close to falling asleep standing up. Not to mention that his virginity was firmly intact.  
  
But I'm not giving up. I have one more trick up my sleeve, Miroku thought. He was starting to suspect that the universe itself was working against his goal. What were the chances of rat infestation on that one night, of all nights? Although perhaps destroying the incense was to be expected.  
  
"Inuyasha, you look like you're gonna die," Shippo piped up from Miroku's shoulder.  
  
"I'm fine," Inuyasha mumbled, his eyes half closed.   
  
"Really?" Miroku said dryly. "You look rather tired." The half-demon promptly stumbled into a tree, staggering to the side. He frowned at the tree, then carefully navigated around it. He won't last long, the monk thought, sighing deeply.  
  
"Do you know what is ahead of us, Miroku?" Sango asked. "I've never been to this place before?"  
  
"Yes, I stayed here for a few weeks perhaps... oh, three years ago," Miroku said. "One of the ladies there is a good friend of mine, and I'm sure she will find a good inn for us to stay in."  
  
He recognized the eerie, searing silence coming from Sango. "No, no, no," he said hastily. "It's not like that. Sango, really, she is old enough to be my mother. There is not, nor has there ever been, anything improper."  
  
Sango thawed visibly. "Oh."  
  
Miroku turned back to Inuyasha and sighed. The young half-demon was on his knees, leaning with his face against a tree, snoring softly. On his back, Kagome snuggled against him and sighed deeply. At the rate he's going, Miroku thought darkly, that's all the sleeping together they'll be doing.  
  
"Let's make camp right here," Sango said, letting her boomerang fall. "I don't think those two will be up anytime soon."  
  
*  
  
"Another day, another village," Inuyasha said, stifling a yawn. The sun was setting in the west, flooding the sizable village below them. "We gotta  
  
Miroku glanced over the buildings as they passed through to the nearest inn. Then he saw the sprawling building he was looking for. It had seen better days, but tendrils and vines were painted on the walls, and the smell of incense and wildflowers wafted from one of the open windows. It brought some very pleasant memories to Miroku's mind; he closed his eyes and smiled.  
  
Someone punched him lightly in the back. "Hey, Miroku, don't hold up the show," Inuyasha said. "Some of us are tired here."   
  
Shippo, snoring on Kagome's shoulder, turned over and scratched his head.   
  
"Ah, of course," Miroku said quickly. He rapidly went down the road to the inn, and after a brief haggling session with the surly innkeeper, managed to secure the largest and best room. Inuyasha passed out almost immediately upon arriving. Kagome sat in the corner, drowsing with Kirara in her lap.  
  
One way or another, I need to get him to drop his guard, Miroku thought, lying back on the bedding. Last night must have been a fluke -- if those rats hadn't been there, surely he would have taken advantage of the situation. Perhaps I need to expand my sights to help him...  
  
He smiled at the ceiling, as Sango snuffed out the lamp. And I think my lady friend will be more than happy to assist Inuyasha...  
  
TO BE CONTINUED 


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER SIXTEEN  
  
*  
  
Miroku folded his arms and studied his friends in their cramped inn room. Inuyasha was sprawled on a tree outside the windows, studying the leaves with the air of one about to lose his mind with boredom. Kagome and Sango were trying on a few of Kagome's cosmetics, lost in their little feminine world. Shippo was playing with a jigsaw puzzle, and Kirara was sleeping.  
  
Perfect timing, Miroku thought with a smile. Perhaps the world isn't trying to stop me after all.   
  
He went to the tree where Inuyasha was lying. "Inuyasha?" he called, tapping the branch with his staff.  
  
Inuyasha sat up and rubbed his eyes. "What now?" he said gruffly.  
  
"I have some errands to do in the village. Care to come with me?"  
  
"Why not?" Inuyasha yawned. "I got nothing better to do. Better to keep an eye on you so you don't get in trouble again."  
  
"Trouble?" Miroku had spent years perfecting an expression of artless, puzzled innocence. It had gotten him out of trouble more than once. Unfortunately, it failed to fool Inuyasha for even a few seconds. The young half-demon glowered at him and added sharply, "Yeah, trouble. Remember that girl with the flowered kimono you tried to pick up? The one with the big eyes and pretty lips? The one with the big ape husband I had to fight after he tried to tie you in a knot?"  
  
"She told me she wasn't married," Miroku said, slightly offended.   
  
"Sure," Inuyasha said acidly. "That's not what she said when you and the girls were running for it. Fine, I'll come along. Nothin' better to do around here except watch Kagome and Sango put stuff on each other."  
  
"Can I come?" Shippo asked, looking up from his puzzle.  
  
Miroku quickly ran over to the little fox and whispered, hopefully low enough that Inuyasha couldn't hear, "Shippo, I would really rather you didn't," he whispered. "There's an errand I would rather you not be around during -- you understand, don't you?"  
  
"Nuh-uh," Shippo said.  
  
Miroku sighed. "How about this?" he asked, resigned. He pulled a string of coins from one sleeve and held it out. Shippo quickly accepted the bribe and settled back on the floor, once again trying to figure out his puzzle.  
  
*  
  
The next half hour was deeply frustrating for Miroku. He knew that Inuyasha had an unusually straightforward and honest personality. That was why he preferred to keep Inuyasha away from any girls he was interested in, and definitely away from any "under the table" transactions.   
  
And it was making things very difficult for Miroku. He prided himself on being able to wheedle, insinuate and haggle into a good position whenever he purchased food. But with Inuyasha standing behind him, loudly announcing what looked good or bad to him, it was hard to fake dismay at the condition of the foods for sale.  
  
"All I'm saying is that that those vegetables didn't look too old to me," Inuyasha was saying as they walked down the road, with a sack slung over each of their backs. "They weren't withered or nothin'."  
  
"Inuyasha, please," Miroku mumbled. The whole experience was still quite painful. Between buying food and bribing Shippo... "One day, I have to teach you the fine art of negotiation."  
  
"If you mean paying less than I should, then I don't wanna learn," Inuyasha said sourly.   
  
Miroku sighed. He'd been doing that a lot recently. "Inuyasha, if you don't mind, I would like to drop in on my lady friend for a short time. Just wait in the entrance hall for me, would you?"  
  
"Whatever." Inuyasha followed Miroku down the path to the sprawling, somewhat dingy building, and into the wide entrance hall. It looked like a smallish manor house that had seen better days. Miroku dropped his sack on the floor and gestured at Inuyasha to stay where he was. "I won't be long," he said.  
  
Inuyasha sank down on the floor and folded his hands into his sleeves.  
  
Miroku followed the sound of lute music to a narrow doorway. He made sure the door was shut behind him before he called out, "Madam Ayaki!"  
  
The woman was a good twenty years older than he was, and though she was no longer quite beautiful, she was still good-looking. She smiled and patted Miroku's shoulder fondly as he sat down beside her. "Young monk, we've been wondering where you had gone off to. The girls have been quite desolate without you."  
  
"Ah, and I've been quite desolate without them," Miroku sighed, feigning wistfulness. "But I have quite another reason to come to you today. I have a young customer who could use some help from the girls..."  
  
TO BE CONTINUED 


	17. Chapter 17

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN  
  
*  
  
"Now, girls," Miroku said, smiling winningly. "This is how it is..."  
  
The numerous girls in the flowered gowns giggled amongst themselves. Miroku didn't remember their names from his last visit, but he seemed to remember that they were all assumed names, taken after flowers. They were quite pretty, each one of them, although Miroku found them a little... well, sheltered for his taste. Sango, however... he shook off his thoughts and continued speaking.  
  
"My friend has had some bad experiences with young women in the past." Miroku assumed a look of gravity now. "And as a result, he's quite shy with the fairer sex, even if he spends long periods of time with lovely girls such as yourselves. So, I ask you to be careful with him. Make sure THIS experience isn't a bad one in any way."  
  
The girls nodded and looked at each other.  
  
"And there's one other reason for him to be shy. He's a virgin." Miroku smiled at more giggles from the young women. "So try to... well, educate him somewhat, won't you? I'm paying for him, so don't worry about the fee."  
  
He rose and walked back out into the hallway, feeling pleased about this arrangement. He was sure -- well, fairly sure -- that this would work. After all, this was what these girls did for a living. It just didn't fail. Once Inuyasha had retreated to a private room with one of the girls, maybe Miroku would do the same...  
  
Inuyasha was slumped against the wall, looking supremely bored. "'Bout time you showed up," he said, resting his elbows on his knees. "Can we go now?"  
  
"Not just yet."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Well, there are some people who wish to meet you, Inuyasha. I've arranged it myself."  
  
"Like who?"  
  
"You'll see. Just follow me." Miroku turned and beckoned.  
  
Inuyasha blinked a few times, and followed Miroku down the hallway. The young half-demon seemed puzzled, but not suspicious; apparently he hadn't detected the young ladies yet. He really IS innocent, Miroku thought, smiling a little.   
  
"Okay, who are these people?" Inuyasha asked as they stopped in front of the door.  
  
"See for yourself." Miroku threw the door open. "And take your pick."  
  
Inuyasha looked inside, and his golden eyes widened further than Miroku had ever seen them before. There were six or seven girls kneeling on the floor, all wearing diaphanous, translucent silk gowns patterned with flowers; one or two had let them slip to show their bare shoulders. A few of them were holding instruments. And all of them were smiling seductively at the shocked half-demon.  
  
Inuyasha's entire body stiffened, as if he were in shock. Then he turned and ran. Miroku turned just as a blur of red and white shot into a closet, and the door slammed shut behind him. The girls looked confused.  
  
"Er, just a second," Miroku said, feeling somewhat embarrassed.  
  
He went to the closet and knocked on the door. "Inuyasha?"  
  
"Get lost, you lousy excuse for a monk," came the muffled voice from inside.   
  
"Inuyasha, why don't you come out?"  
  
"I'm not gonna."  
  
"Inuyasha, I understand that it's normal to be nervous the first time... even if I never was." Miroku tried to open the door, but reconsidered. If Inuyasha was in any way upset with him, it wouldn't be wise to go in. He tended to be a little excitable. "But believe me, Inuyasha, you'll enjoy it. You'll have a good time."  
  
"Just try and make me!" came the voice from inside.  
  
Madame Ayaki came tripping down the hallway, looking concerned; the girls were peeking out of the room. Miroku sighed and covered his face for a moment. This is going to be a lot more difficult than I had planned, he thought.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED 


	18. Chapter 18

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN  
  
*  
  
"How long are you going to sit in there?" Miroku called.  
  
"Forever," came the muffled reply. "So why don't you go off and do whatever you're plannin' with those sluts and just leave me alone. I ain't moving."  
  
Miroku stifled another sigh. He seemed to be doing that a lot this afternoon. Inuyasha hadn't budged from the closet; in fact, he wasn't even willing to open the door. And Miroku had spent the afternoon sitting on the floor, trying to coax an unwilling half-demon out. So far, he hadn't even convinced Inuyasha to talk to him.  
  
"Come now, Inuyasha, is it really that bad?" he called, tapping on the door.  
  
"The way you do it, YES."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I'm not like you, and dammit, I'm proud of that! I'm not just gonna sleep with any pretty girl who lies down in front of me. So get lost! And keep me out of your sick little plans!" the half-demon bellowed. "I--am--not--like--you!"  
  
Well, that much was true, Miroku thought, scratching his head. Two of the young women had ventured into the closet, determined to earn their fee from Inuyasha. Miroku wasn't entirely sure what had happened, or what the girls had seen, but they had stayed inside only a few seconds before fleeing, shrieking at the top of their voices. The closet door had slammed shut.  
  
He really does need help, Miroku thought wryly. And not just with women.  
  
"Are you gone yet?" Inuyasha shouted.  
  
"No, I'm not," Miroku said heavily. "Inuyasha, maybe we should just go back to the camp." He had spent hours crouching by this little closet, and he was starting to get nervous. What if the girls came looking for him? He didn't want to consider their reactions, if Sango found him in a brothel. Particularly a brothel occupied by several lovely, half-clothed girls.  
  
"I ain't coming out until everyone clears the way between me and the exit."  
  
"Inuyasha-"  
  
The sound of light footsteps reached his ears. "Miroku, we need to talk," said Madame Ayaki sternly.  
  
Miroku twisted around to look at her. His "face of innocence" was firmly in place, but he suspected Ayaki would be as immune to it as Inuyasha was. "Yes?"  
  
The older woman glared at the closet door, as if she expected Inuyasha to come out any moment then. "Your young friend is frightening the girls. They're afraid that he'll lunge out and kill them if he stays here. So if he doesn't plan to do anything, I'd like you to please take him away."  
  
"Fine with me!" came the voice from the closet.  
  
Miroku wanted to groan, but managed to smile instead. "Of course, of course. Um, just please clear the hallway so my friend can leave with no obstructions." He dusted himself off and followed Madame Ayaki into the side room that Inuyasha had fled from.Two of the girls were sobbing hysterically, being comforted by the others. Miroku felt for them, but his immediate concern was getting Inuyasha's behind out of that closet, before they both ended up in very serious trouble. "Inu-" he started to call.  
  
A blur of white and red shot past the doorway, and broke down the door on his way. Miroku apologized profusely to Madame Ayaki. But her hard, angry face lingered with him as he followed Inuyasha outside.  
  
*  
  
"That was very embarrassing for me, Inuyasha," Miroku said loudly.  
  
"FOR YOU?" Inuyasha snarled. He glanced witheringly over his shoulder at the monk, then resumed his fast walking back to the inn. "You dolt, how do you think I felt? Don't think I'm gonna forget this in a hurry."  
  
The half-demon sank into a sullen silence, and Miroku felt slightly relieved. Even so, he didn't want to contemplate what was going to happen if and when Sango and Kagome heard what had happened. And, worst of all, he had run out of plans to use on Inuyasha.  
  
When the two young men returned, Kagome and Sango were examining their colored fingernails and giggling. "Oh, you guys are finally back," Kagome said.  
  
Inuyasha turned red and looked away.  
  
"You were away for a long time," Sango said. "Were there any problems?"  
  
"Not really," Miroku said dryly.  
  
"What were you guys doing all that time?" Kagome asked.  
  
"NOTHING! Nothing happened! Nothing at all!" Inuyasha shouted, clenching his fists. Before anyone could speak again, he stalked over to the open window and leaped up into the tree.  
  
"Relax, I was just asking," Kagome said, frowning.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED 


	19. Chapter 19

CHAPTER NINETEEN  
  
*  
  
"Kagome?"  
  
"Yes, Inuyasha?"   
  
"Tell Miroku to pass the tea."  
  
Kagome sighed heavily. "Miroku, please pass the tea."  
  
Miroku picked up one of the sealed cans from Kagome's time and silently passed it to the girl from the future. She, in turn, solemnly handed it over the fire to Inuyasha. The half-demon opened it and took a long gulp from it, glaring across the flames at Miroku. He hadn't spoken a word to Miroku -- directly -- since they had left the inn the morning after.  
  
This is getting absurd. I swear, if I didn't know better, I would think he was a eunuch, Miroku thought, shaking his head. He's practically hopeless. What do I have to do to lower his inhibitions, force-feed him aphrodesiacs?   
  
Much to Miroku's relief, Inuyasha did not tell the girls what had happened or where he had been. The blushing virgin apparently was too embarrassed to admit to Kagome and Sango that he had been in a brothel, even if he had been tricked. A good thing for me, Miroku thought, sighing. If Sango learned about it, they might never find my remains.  
  
"I don't know what is going on with you two," Kagome said loudly. "But I'm gonna find out."  
  
Inuyasha flinched and avoided her gaze. After gulping down the rest of his tea, he crept out into the darkness and vanished into the woods. Kagome looked after him, frowning suspiciously. The expression on her pretty face made Miroku feel like a mouse cornered by a cat. If she suspects... he thought.  
  
"Inuyasha's acting kind of weird, isn't he?" Shippo said, taking a bite from his roasted fish.  
  
"Really?" Miroku assumed his air of innocence.  
  
"Yeah, he is," Sango said thoughtfully. "I wonder why."  
  
Miroku carefully avoided looking at the girls, and instead pretended to be studying the stars in the night sky. He could feel Kagome watching him intently, but refused to respond. Mentally he began furiously searching for another topic -- something, anything to talk about except where they had been the day before...  
  
"I know what happened," Kagome said suddenly.  
  
Miroku almost fell over. "You what?" he almost squeaked. In the tree behind him, there was a faint cracking noise and fluttering leaves.  
  
"I said I know what happened yesterday," Kagome said sharply. "Inuyasha hasn't been able to look me in the eye. He's nervous. He's grumpy. I can tell when he feels guilty and hides things from me."  
  
Miroku felt as if he were going to faint. How could Kagome know? This wasn't possible. He was sure that the girls hadn't trailed him. He managed to say in a steady voice, "Oh... um, and what do you... I mean..."  
  
"Miroku," Kagome said solemnly. "I want you to answer me truthfully. Inuyasha saw Kikyo yesterday, didn't he?"  
  
It was all Miroku could do not to fall on his face with surprise. In the distance, he heard a branch snap, as if someone had collapsed with relief. The monk rallied a feeble smile. "No, Kagome -- Inuyasha was with me, and neither of us saw Kikyo," he said truthfully. "Not for a moment."  
  
Kagome looked relieved. As she began nibbling on her roasted fish, Miroku sagged back against a tree. That had been a close one. From the sound of Inuyasha's near-collapse, he had been every bit as nervous as Miroku. Well, at least the girls were still in the dark, and PROBABLY weren't going to find out...  
  
Suddenly there was a loud rustling from the perimeter of the camp, and something darted through the shadows. Sango swung out at a moving shape -- followed by a very familiar pained howl. The demon-slayer stood quickly. "Inuyasha? Is that you?" she said.   
  
"Inuyasha?" Kagome said, concerned.  
  
Miroku flinched when he saw Inuyasha kneeling on the ground, clutching a very sensitive part of his body, where Sango had apparently hit him. The girls clustered around him, asking if he was all right. Inuyasha's only response was whimpering growls and the occasional "Do I LOOK all right?"  
  
Well, it's settled, Miroku thought, sliding down where he sat. I'm going to ask for Kaede's advice.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED 


	20. Chapter 20

CHAPTER TWENTY  
  
*  
  
"So, what do you think I should do now?"  
  
Miroku sat back and waited for the old woman to answer him. Kaede stared at him impassively. Having only one eye seemed to help keep her face expressionless --either that or years of practice helped her listen to all sorts of stories. For a moment her wrinkled, round face twitched uncontrollably, as if she were going to grin or laugh. Then she seemed to get it under control.  
  
"Ye have told me all of what there is to hear?" she asked.  
  
"Yes, everything," Miroku said. It had been rather humiliating to admit those things to the old woman, but he had no one else to ask. Except Mushin, and it was hard to keep him sober long enough for a story like this one. And he could depend on Kaede not to immediately tell Kagome and Sango, although the story might leak out someday...  
  
Kaede sighed. "And ye wish to know what I think ye should do?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Well then, here is my answer: Do nothing."  
  
Miroku blinked. "But..."  
  
Kaede smiled. "Inuyasha does not need ye help, Miroku. He is shy for a reason, and to be shy is his protection against harm. Ye are two different creatures, with two different ways with young women." She began stirring her herbal concoction. "Aye, maybe he is too shy around Kagome. But when one considers how his first love ended, it isn't too surprising."  
  
"Do NOTHING?"  
  
"Aye. When Inuyasha is ready, he will be ready. Until then, ye will only frustrate both yourself and him by trying to force him forward." Kaede looked thoughtful. "Not to mention that he will become more stubborn the more ye try to convince him."  
  
Miroku sighed heavily. "I suppose I should have seen that coming."  
  
"Ye should have. And, Miroku, I have one other piece of advice."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Do not take Inuyasha to such women again in future. He has somewhat different intentions than yourself, and such things will only upset him."   
  
In Miroku's place, Inuyasha would have been blushing furiously. But the self-assured young monk thanked the old priestess for her help, and made his way out into the village, still thinking hard about Inuyasha's predicament.   
  
Well, I suppose it isn't surprising that she would advise that, he thought as he made his way back to the camp. Inuyasha had managed to botch or frustrate every one of Miroku's effort to relieve him of his virginity. He'd tried alcohol, aphrodesiacs, and even less subtle measures. When Inuyasha wasn't oblivious, he was completely uncooperative -- and not just when it came to women, either.   
  
Not to mention that if I try anything else, he'll beat me into the ground, Miroku thought, sighing. And I've completely run out of plans to use on him -- something I never knew would happen. I suppose Inuyasha will just be doomed to be a late bloomer... as if he weren't late already.  
  
Suddenly familiar voices reached him. He ducked behind a tree.  
  
"... and that's what happened."  
  
It was Inuyasha, sitting knee-to-knee with Kagome and staring at the ground. Kagome frowned. "That's all?"  
  
"That's all!" Inuyasha burst out, flushing. "I didn't touch any of 'em. Not one! Not even for a moment! I just ran straight out when I had a clear shot to the door. I didn't lay a finger on any of them, I swear! I'm not lying to you!"  
  
Kagome smiled. "Well, I'm glad."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"I'm glad you behaved yourself much better than Miroku. Especially since I'm a lot less forgiving than Sango." Kagome gave Inuyasha's shoulders an affectionate squeeze, and rested her head against him for a moment. The young half-demon's blush grew even deeper; he had that comical confused look that gave Miroku so much exasperation.  
  
Well, I suppose that's that, Miroku thought, sighing. He slipped away from the two, to find some secluded spot to hide for awhile. After all, when Sango finds out, as I'm sure she will from Kagome, he thought, I won't want to be around until things calm down.  
  
THE END 


End file.
